What is Church?

I had a great dialogue with some of our church leaders today. It has been an interesting trip over the past 9 months, but I know that God is in control. I am not sure where we are headed, but I do know that we are headed in the right direction. I have definitely been learning patience through this whole process. My timing is rarely ever God's timing. It is very humbling and a great relief to know that I (singular) am not the church. The church is the whole body of believers with Christ as the head. We are His bride. It can be weird to think of myself as a bride, but I need to give my whole self up for the Bridegroom. I don't want to wait around for things to change. I want to be part of the change...as long as the change is pursuing Christ wholeheartedly as we seek to serve Him and minister to the lost. What does that look like for my local body? I'm not sure. I do know that we are a body who loves to fellowship and welcome others to it. I want things to be ready now, but it doesn't always work that way!

Worship is not about me. It never has been and never will be. Worship is about the One who loves me so much that His grace abounds in my life in such a way that I am compelled to follow Him and obey His commands out of my love for Him. I cannot earn His love. No matter how many times I want to, it is not possible. I don't understand it, but I accept it...in fact, I wholeheartedly embrace it as the only true answer. Worship is more than a song. It's a daily lifestyle of expressing my love to Him for Him giving His Love to me.

I want to be the church that lives worship, love, grace, truth, etc.

Crazy Love

I started reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan today. I can tell that I am going to be further challenged by this book. I read through the first chapter so far and much of what I read is the same as what I've been thinking about for the past year. What does it take to live a life fully devoted to Christ? Who am I to question His will? What does a life devoted to Him look like? Why do I try to measure myself up to a list of do's and don'ts instead of accepting His grace and love? Do I believe that He loves me? Why would He love me when I fail at those lists all the time?

I'll be putting more of my thoughts down about this book as I journey through it.

First NCAA Tourney Game

I went to my first tourney game last night. I got to see Michigan beat Clemson in a close one and Oklahoma blow out Morgan State. Here are some observations:

1. Cheap tickets are great...no matter where you sit! We had decent seats, but for $20 a seat for the face value of $126, it is hard to beat.
2. Kansas fans are always annoying....even during Michigan and OU games. Seriously, no one cares that you are a KU fan. KU wasn't even playing last night. The fact you wore your jerseys and hats was enough. You didn't need to start KU chants or rant fans of teams who aren't even your rivals or in your conference!
3. Choose a road trip partner wisely. When driving home late at night, be sure your passenger will stay awake for more than 30 minutes of a 2 hour drive.
4. Downtown KC in the Power & Light district is really nice.
5. Sporting events are a great place to strike up random conversations.
6. This new list of 100 things to do before 30 is going to be great (see future post...not yet materialized on this blog)
7. Don't forget to bring a camera...pics from my phone suck.
8. Getting off work at 4 and randomly driving to KC for a basketball game reminds me of college...wish I was able to do things like that more often!

Overall, it was a great night. Rough trying to wake up this morning, but definitely worth it!

Learning from a 92 year old man

Today I had an awesome opportunity to sit and listen to a 92 year old man reflect on his life for 2 hours. It was incredible to hear him talk about 3 centuries. He started telling about his dad, who was born in 1879. He was born in 1916. We talked about the Great Depression, what education was like then, work conditions, how he grew from nothing into growing a great business with Pepsi. We only got to about 1974 in his life and we even skipped WWII, where he spent 2 years in Guam! I saw his original social security card...he even carried that in Guam!

I am excited to continue the conversation and listen to more of his stories. Things I learned today:

1. Always be honest with people. L. A. told the story of his father being careful to count for every nickel and for a person he worked for to be honest with every ear of corn they picked. He had the opportunity with his business to be honest when the bank gave him too much money for a check.
2. Love. He married not because of love but because he wanted to get a girl out of a bad situation where she was a bar keep. Everyone tells us to marry for love. He grew to love his wife deeply; however, he just wanted her to have a better life. Interesting story.
3. Money is not the answer. L. A. started with nothing and ended up with a lot of money. His business grew and grew, but that is not what matters in life. Relationships are what matters.
4. Don't let the times outgrow you. L. A. is one of the biggest supporters of the youth in our church. He doesn't let the fact that they worship in a different way than him hamper his love for young people who love the Lord.

I hope to be living a life well lived where I can share the awesomeness of God when I'm 92.

what to do?

i realized that i hadn't put any thoughts down lately. more like, i haven't written anything at all! i like the idea of blogs, it's just something i've not done before; therefore, i've been a little leery about starting mine. but, i guess it never hurts to try!

i find it very interesting how God has been moving in my life lately. i've been getting more and more serious about looking for a new job, but the opportunities are limited. i'll have my mba in july (well..i'll walk in july and take one more class in the fall) and i'm just not sure if i'm supposed to work in a secular field or full-time in the church. i was called to the ministry several years ago, but i don't know if that means i am to be paid for doing ministry or just be more involved with the ministries i work with now.

i'm supposed to let my current employer know my plans by 2 weeks from now. one of the jobs i applied for doesn't open up until august/september. another job that i'm interested in probably won't open up for several more months, too. i have a couple people looking for some jobs for me, but it's hard to give them direction about what type of job i want since i don't know if i am supposed to be in the church or not.

i know that God is in control and that He has some big plans for my life. i just want to listen and follow where He leads.